Just Stay
by kawaii-kirei
Summary: [CDD, SuohNokoru, NokoruSuoh] Suoh watches Nokoru sleep... Rewrite of the deleted "ALWAYS" CDD fic. Shounen-ai. Suoh isn't too sure of himself, Nokoru shows him just how much he loves him.


_Title: Just Stay  
Author: kawaii-kirei "KK"  
Rating: PG for yaoi  
Pairing: SuohNokoru, NokoruSuoh_

_Disclaimer: Clamp Gakuen Tanteidan or Clamp School Detectives does not and never will belong to me. It belongs to the wonderful artists of CLAMP. -glomps-_

_Author's Notes: This was already written in my notebook, I wrote it two months ago. I dug it up somehow and edited it into this. XD I'm kind of like this piece... The description was much more longer originally, and the conversation were supposed to be only small, but mwahahaha, my mind did the rest of the job! XD Well, enjoy!_

* * *

**Just Stay**

Only when he is asleep, I can watch him like this. Gazing lovingly at him, memorizing every curve of his face and watching him smile contentedly, happy to be away from life's stresses. Only when he's asleep, he lets me see his true self. His face unmasked and his figure covered in the same light he blankets himself with. His soft breathing sends me in peace. Only when he's asleep, I can tell how much...

"Ai shiteru... Nokoru..."

A sigh runs past my lips and I lift a hand to slowly caress this angel's cheek. I smile softly as he leans in to the touch... but we can never be like what I'm wishing... It's a bit impossible, don't you think? In so many ways... it's forbidden. But no matter what, I'll stand by you, Nokoru. I swore to protect you until I die. It's not just because of the Takamura name, but... it's because I want to. To be this close to you... I can only keep my heartache and smile at you, pretending as if nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong, Nokoru... I'm contented to be just this close to you.

"Why are you crying...?"

"Kaichou... you're awake..."

Crying...? I'm not crying... am I? He nods slowly, before sitting up, wiping away what I saw as tears from my cheeks, his soft touch lingering, before pulling away. I resist the urge to move forward, and settled for a stiff position. I feel guilty for ruining his sleep, especially when I saw the light black circles under his face. I knew he was overworking himself, despite his fake attempts to run away... to make it seem as if nothing's wrong, and he can still make it. I arranged our week off and asked Utako-san to cover for us, Ijyuin-san still volunteered to keep on working. So... Nokoru and I were left on our small vacation.

...You know, it'd be a lie if I say that I feel comfortable saying his name... Nokoru... I'm not allowed to say his name out loud... Maybe... Kaichou...

"Suoh? Why are you crying?"

"...nandemonai, Kaichou. Please go back to sleep. I'll go out now, if you wish." I offered a smile, hoping he'll buy it. Being like this together with you is fine for me. Asking for more would be more than enough. It hurts to leave like this, but Nokoru, this is for you. Just for you.

"Suoh..."

I immediately stopped and turned around, dreading slightly what was going to happen next, "Hai, Kaichou?"

"Were you watching me... again?"

I stiffened. I'm not allowed to say it. I'm not... "Gomen nasai, Kaichou." I won't admit it, I won't deny it. Please accept this for now. It's not... allowed for someone like me to ask so much of you... so this is good enough for now.

"Suoh..."

A hand slowly entwined with mine, my eyes widening as fingers clasped around mine almost desperately. "I don't want to wait anymore, Suoh... Every night you watch me, every night you pretend... Suoh... please..."

I looked at him intently, wondering if this was real or I was just hallucinating. Nokoru... I... "Kaichou... this isn't --" I halted my words when I saw a tear fall down pale cheeks. A river followed and I suddenly found myself speechless. What can I say?

Nokoru smiled slightly, obviously embarrassed at his display of emotions, raising his hand to brush away the tears, "I don't care, Suoh." He looked at me, and I found myself unable to turn away. "I love you... I love you so much..." Nokoru... you... I... "I know that it's selfish of me to ask of you this, but please, stay with me tonight."

He took in a shuddery breath, wiping his eyes furiously, "Just... stay..."

* * *

Suoh stood still, not knowing what to say. His stood there frozen and completely shocked, before he was shook out of his senses when the gentle hold on his wrist disappeared. He looked back at Nokoru, who was still trying to stop his tears. Even with that small smile, he looked so broken...

"Suoh... gomen... I should have --" He stopped when he felt a hand caress his cheek softly, and he looked up at the other. His eyes widened when he felt lips descend on his own, crushing their mouths together almost painfully. And Nokoru kissed back, with the same desperate feeling as the other. "Suoh..."

"Ai shiteru yo, Nokoru... I don't care about the rest anymore... All I care about is that I love you..."

At that, Nokoru's eyes softened inconsiderably, and he opened his arms to embrace the one in front of him, "Stay...?"

And Suoh smiled, and nodded.


End file.
